While in a parking lot, walking from my car to the grocery store, I was approached by an elderly woman. She was standing at her open trunk with her grocery cart parked right behind her car.
“You look strong.” She said to me. “Could you help me put this watermelon in my car?”
I was happy to oblige. After getting her groceries nestled in her trunk, I bid her farewell and headed into the store. I couldn’t help but think of her approach as I shopped.
Start with a compliment.
Before I ran into her, I can’t remember a time when someone’s very first words to me included a compliment. Even before I knew what was happening, I felt good, was smiling, and was happy to help before she even asked. What a brilliant approach, I thought.
Make someone feel good right away.
How will you make people in your life feel good today? This week? This month? There are unlimited ways to do so.
Here are the five most common ways listed in the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman:
Perform an Act of Service – Do something nice. Clean something they normally clean so they don’t have to. Or make them a meal. Or run an errand that will put a check mark on his or her to do list. Or hold a door open, etc..
Tell them Words of Affirmation – This is what the lady did for me in the grocery store parking lot. Make someone feel good by telling them something positive you like about them or how you feel about them. Compliments fit into this category but are not the only verbal positives in your toolkit.
Give Gifts – The price isn’t the determining factor for success here. The fact that you were thinking about them and wanted to give them something is enough.
Spend Quality Time with them – That doesn’t mean you have to spend an entire day. It’s more important that the time you spend is quality (no distractions such as cell phones, emails, TV, etc.). Give them your full attention, even if it’s only for 20 minutes.
Physical Touch – Rub his/her sore shoulders, hold his/her hand, give hugs, and when appropriate… kisses. Some people respond to physical contact more than any of the other four. And this doesn’t mean sex; it can be as simple as holding a hand, a pat on the back, or a high five.
How Making Others Feel Good Can Affect Your Goals
Of course, you can use this list if you want to make people feel great simply because it makes you feel great to do so.
However, this list can also be a skillset you develop – one of the many – in order to achieve your goals. For example, if your goal is to develop stronger relationships, this will definitely help. If your goal is to make more sales, the list above will help you make your clients or prospects feel appreciated, therefore, fostering loyal customers. If your goal is to get help with something, similar to the elderly lady who asked for my help with her groceries, you are more likely to get agreement from those you ask if you begin by putting smiles on their faces.
To create an amazing world, make everyone feel good not just the people closest to you or people you want something from. Be mindful of your interactive impact on strangers, service providers, fellow drivers (whom you share the roads with), and anyone else with whom you come into contact. After all, since we all share the same planet, if you are helping to make the world a better place for others, it will also be a better place for you.
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